Laundry...To Sort or Not To Sort

Do people still sort laundry by color before washing clothes?  I don’t … I take the time to wash my hand wash only clothes using the “hand wash” setting on my washing machine ~ everything else gets shoved into one load and washed together on the “normal” setting.

Laundering technology has seen many advancements since I was a kid helping Mom sort clothes into Lord only knows how many piles (growing up on a farm meant a lot more sorting than just by color … degree and type of filth had to be factored into the process).  If I still had to deal with farm clothes, then I would likely take the time to sort … BUT, I don’t.  I live in town and only deal with the laundry generated between me and my son.  I have had recent conversations with other folks around town and it seems that there are, indeed, still people out there that take the time to separate clothes by color.

To be perfectly candid, I consider it a significant win when I remember to take the clothes out of the dryer … so I won’t say much about the folding and putting away of said clothes.  I probably should take the time to complete this process because I’m not sure that I am saving myself any time by pawing through the basket of clean clothes to find the shirt I could have sworn I had just washed … and even when I do get clothes folded, I get distracted by other projects so the piles of folded clothes sit on my bed and then get transferred back into the laundry basket, or set in front of the dresser because I’m too tired to take the time to figure out what is supposed to go in which drawer … and I’m still wondering what happened to that shirt I was looking for.  The next morning, I remember I have a similar colored shirt that might be hanging in the closet … I cautiously open the closet door so nothing falls out on top of me and run my fingers over the shoulders of each of the shirts that have been packed like sardines into my overstuffed closet.  ((( Sad when I remember that 3 years earlier I had cleaned it out and donated over half of what I had at that time. )))  Finally, I find the other shirt and pull it out, letting out a huge sigh because it is horribly wrinkled.  I know I own an iron and might even be able to find it, but by the time I realize how badly wrinkled the shirt is I have less than 30 minutes to make it to the doctor appointment I completely forgot about until my calendar alert popped up.  I know, I’ll just throw on a cardigan and call it covered – problem solved, sort of.  For the record, I found the missing shirt in the dryer a week later – on the plus side, it wasn’t still in the washer!!

The wrinkled shirt incident was annoying, funny, but annoying … … back to sorting laundry … … no, just no … … If my son wears pink socks because I forgot to wash the new red shirt separately, well, it builds character.  He’s lucky to have clean socks to wear and even more lucky because they just became one of a kind designer “socks by Mom”!!

Which is worse - emotional pain or physical pain?

I wasn't really looking for a writing prompt, however I couldn't pass this one up.  I couldn't even tell you any more what led me to find it…  Some thoughts, once they enter my brain space, take up residence.  This one slapped on a fresh coat of paint and bought new curtains, apparently intent on staying for some time.  I was going to write about the fine line between introspection and rumination … until the dam holding memories of my past sprung a leak again.  I'm sure we have all suffered both deep emotional pain and excruciating physical pain … for some it is brief, for others it is something we live with daily.  As I was trying to repair the dam it occurred to me that maybe there was a glimmer of positivity to be found in those memories.

Having just experienced a bout of severe physical pain as well as deep emotional pain, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say neither is worse.  They both hurt.  Much like "hard is hard" I think "pain is pain" … they both hurt.  Here is the difference, in my experience at any rate, physical injuries heal more quickly than emotional injuries.  Emotional pain may start by the words or actions from an external source, however once in my brain, interesting things start to spin up.  Instead of sticking to the "facts" I start to rehash everything I did or said that may have caused the other person to say or do whatever it was that they said or did that sent me into a tailspin.

I often feel overlooked and forgotten.  I realize that sometimes it actually happens however there many more times when it is all in the way I am perceiving it.  I received a gentle reminder today that, very often, the people I "think" are ignoring me are often going through something in their lives that is just really hard for them and they are dealing with their own turmoil the best way they know how.  The reminder came when I had no desire to talk, to anyone about anything.  I knew I was in a foul mood and didn't want to inflict it on anyone else.  When I am in these phases it is hard for me to pretend that I'm ok.  Sometimes I muster a smile and respond with "I'm fabulous!" when people ask how I'm doing.  Maybe I do it to try to convince myself that I really am fine and that I just need to get over my shit OR, maybe I do it because if I start to talk about what is going on in my head I'll wind up on Dr. Phil with a year supply of Kleenex.  This afternoon, when I was confronted with the "Why are you ignoring me?" type question, it made me feel bad, which made them feel worse.  It is a vicious cycle, really.  When the roles are reversed, the emotional pain this brings, whether my feeling ignored was due to something real or something imagined, can take a long time for me to sort out.

This past summer was marred severe physical pain, a story for another book.  As I battled my way back to “normal”, I was encouraged by the number of people who rallied around me.  The pain gradually decreased and people still ask how my recovery is going.  Since I am, for the most part, back to normal, it is easy to not really give that physical pain much thought.  Well, until I step wrong or bang my knee into the door, then I am reminded of the pain.  Still, it is short lived.  I can take a pain pill and go about my day.  Emotional pain is not as easily remedied for me.

Bottom line:  pain is pain.  Just because we can't see it or we don't understand it doesn't mean that it isn't painful for the one working through it.  Be kind, always.  The smile you give to another might change their day in a positive way.  As I was surfing the web, I came across a verse that feels like it is speaking directly to my feeling overlooked or forgotten:  “Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5).  It is such an incredible promise, and one that I frequently forget.  Being human is hard sometimes.  Then I find verses like this and am reminded that I am not alone.  God’s promise is forever.

I will always be here for you

"I will always be here for you" … this is what I say to my son to calm him after he had a bad dream.  He is too young to understand what I really mean by that.  Right now, he is comfortable with Mom being physically present.  Here to hug him when he is sad, comfort him when he is hurting.  Here to listen to his thoughts and dreams.  Here to help him fight off the zombies.

I get up to leave and he asks "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get ready for bed, it is getting late" I reply.

"Oh, ok.  Mom, are you going to be here if I have another bad dream?"

"Yes, honey, I will always be here for you."

As I close his door I wonder how long God will allow me to keep that promise to him.  I've made that same promise to the people I love.  I genuinely mean it when I say "I will always be here for you."  Now, as I sit on my bed, my heart begins to ache.  My son is in the next room, he is my primary focus … but the others - the other people I have made that promise to - are many miles away from me.  What can I do to help if they need someone to hold them when they are sad, to comfort them when they are hurting?

A single tear traces its way down my cheek as I envision brilliant threads of red, blue, green and purple, leaving my body.  I close my eyes and allow my heart to follow each thread where it leads.  I see the faces of my family, my best friends as well as those who have gone before me and I realize that these very threads are what I mean when I say "I will always be here for you".  You are always in my thoughts, always in my prayers - my physical self may not be with you, but my soul knows no such limitations. 

My soul, guided by The Divine Creator, follows each thread to hold and comfort you. 

Yes, I will always be here for you.